Versaclimber's day with the Royal Marines

The Royal Marines are renowned for having one of the toughest training regimes in the military outside of the SAS. So to find out just how tough it is, Versaclimber’s managing director Neil Kelford spent the day at the Royal Marines Commando Training Centre (CTCRM), along with Glen from our aptly-named PR agency Tank PR, and serial Marines fundraiser and award-winning Nottingham Indian restaurateur Arfan Razak, better known as Raz. 

All British armed forces use Versaclimber products, and Neil wanted to find out how they used them. Unbeknown to him, he was about to find out just how fit Marines have to be. We also wanted to test the water for a possible Marines Versaclimber challenge. Raz has already raised several thousand pounds for Marines charities, and is currently using a Versaclimber to train for his next escapade: The Dunker – a helicopter crash simulator. 

After arriving bright and early, this well fed incarnation of The A-Team was given a detailed explanation of just how much training recruits have to go through to become a commando – 32 weeks of burning, exhausting hell, culminating in a 30-mile run. Carrying 100lbs of body armour. And food and water. And radios. And weapons. Over moorland. It makes the 27-mile London Marathon look like a stroll in the park.  

After getting suited up in combat gear, the trio were given a deafening demonstration in breaking into and clearing a building. After which, they were taught how to break down doors with a battering ram and the wonderfully named ‘hooligan bar’. 

Following a demonstration on ‘heavy weapons’, featuring a line up of machinery from Star Wars, was the shooting range. Each entrusted with an SA80 automatic rifle and live ammo, the chaps were instructed to hit a square inch of tape 40 metres away. Whilst it was obvious that it wouldn't be a case of pointing vaguely at the target with one hand whilst feigning an expression of utter disgust, we reckon neither was expecting the reality. 

Then came the perilous assault course, stretching the length of a football field. After being taught how to hang off a rope using only their left armpit, the boys tackled the timed course. Delights included vaulting a very big water trough, a 6-foot wall, a very long set of monkey bars over more rancid water, various awkward things to climb over, muddy tunnels and more rope climbing. We had to check they were still alive at the other end. It was touch and go for a while.  Then they were all chucked into the river estuary for a “run”, waist-high in filthy water.

Of course, Marines would have to do this three times every week. Neil was rather broken after just one day. And remember, these commandos aren't reserves. In all likeliness, they could go out to service within the year, where they could return with three limbs blown off like the chap who greeted everyone that morning. Or, worse, not return at all. Incredible.